You’re at a game and it’s boring you to the back teeth so you fall asleep and the ball hits you because you weren’t paying attention and you end up in hospital and when you recover they send you a bill for the ambulance but you can’t pay it because you took a “sicky” to go to the game and they found out that you used a cab charge to get there so they sacked you and hired the cab driver who snitched on you because they felt that as your parent they had to teach you a lesson so you wouldn’t do what you used to do when you were supposed to be at school and instead went fishing with your other parent and never caught a thing except a bus back to the local fish’n’chip shop where you both spent all the money that the first parent made driving their passengers stir crazy with all the boring stories about your entire family tree who somehow survived everything from earthquakes to tsunamis to emigrate to this undeserving dump of a place that they now

call home and out of the goodness of their hearts provide sustenance for all the poor people who pay premium dollars for their substandard services and products because their kindness knows no bounds and at the end of the day these folk are never grateful and continuously whine about the people who charge them premium dollars for substandard products and services that are filled with love and any other stale stuff they could find just like in the home country where they still play the gods’ own game of ball tampering to make sure that they can clobber some poor unsuspecting dope who’s fallen asleep in the front row and gets taken to the hospital part owned by the family in the ambulance wholly owned by the parents and gets sacked by the parents company who sue them for misappropriating resources and causing undue stress to the rest of the family who own the sports ground and hire the officials because they have intermarried in order to keep it all in the family and are constantly surprised by people who are surprised that they all have the same family name as the stadium that was named after the great sporting gladiator who brought the entire audience who also shared the same family name to their feet when they jumped on the podium and screamed that there was a mouse in the house that was misappropriating funds in order to buy equipment such as sandpaper and white pants to store them in so that they look pristine when the cameras focused on them and ensure that the audience who shared the same family name as the umpires and referees and officials and grounds keepers and restaurant staff and cleaners and even the same drivers who own the ambulance that picked up the silly dope who was the only one with a different family name to everyone else in the town to the family owned hospital staffed by aunts and uncles and nieces and nephews all with the same family names as the lawyers who sued the substandard sleepy idiot for wasting everyone’s time and paying for the pleasure of doing so and who was defended by the other lawyer who shared the same name as the stadium and the rest of the honest to goodness folk with suspiciously similar features as each other and the rest of the town and defence won and lost as prosecution jumped in the cab and offered to drive the dozey dingbat to the next game with front row tickets reserved.

Sheeesh!!